How was it for you? Latest findings post-pandemic offer a revealing picture of our sex lives which is worth talking about, says the Open University’s Professor of Sociology and Intimacy. She comments on one of society’s most tricky topics ahead of Valentine’s Day around the world.
“Sex remains one of the most difficult areas to talk about in relationships. People tend to compare their sex lives against fictional others based on hearsay, guesswork, popular culture and misinformation,” says Professor Jacqui Gabb.
Her team looked at how the pandemic affected our sex lives, drawing on evidence from the past two years which shows changes in five areas: sexual frequency, relationship quality, relationship patterns, sexual practice and the spending on sex toys.
Sexual Frequency
Professor Gabb and team took a deep dive into research carried out by the Natsal (National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles) The Natsal-COVID team[i] found that in the four months following the UK’s first lockdown in March 2020 around half of people in Britain perceived no change in how often they had partnered sex. Yet this was not the case for everyone: stats show this depended on the type of partnership people were in during lockdown. Some two-thirds of people not living with a partner felt there was a decline in their sexual frequency. Those most likely to have had sex were people in a steady relationship, living with their partner (81%).
Prof Gabb said:
“Perhaps that isn’t all that surprising as COVID restrictions prevented people who weren’t living with a partner from being physically together. Nonetheless many non-cohabiting partners did continue to have sex (24%), especially once ‘support bubbles’ were introduced.[ii] “
Relationship Quality
Whilst the Natsal-COVID study found that many people were still having sex during lockdown, this didn’t mean that relationships were the same as before. Couples in “steady” relationships reported that the quality of their sex life was more likely to have deteriorated than the overall quality of their relationship, which was more likely to improve.[iii] Prof Gabb says it’s likely that the stress and anxiety provoked by the pandemic were significant contributing factors here, putting the dampeners on sexual desire, while conversely strengthening bonds of emotional closeness as couples turned to each other for support.
Relationship Patterns
Research conducted by Relate in partnership with eHarmony reported “turbo relationships” with people making a commitment to each other and moving in together more quickly than before. Prof Gabb said this research found that things were not necessarily plain sailing. In the study, 12% of those in relationships reported that their sex life had worsened during the pandemic.[iv]
Sexual practice
Among those who’d had sex during lockdown it was those in casual relationships who were more likely than those in steady partnerships to have used sex toys, while others characterise a “panic buying” frenzy of sex toys by couples and single people alike during the pandemic.[v]
Sex toy sales
Findings from market research flesh out the Natsal-COVID picture of pandemic sex lives. Reports from sex toy companies across the globe reported booming sales during the pandemic. Survey research carried out by US sex toy retailer Tracy’s Dog reported that during the pandemic people were more likely to buy new sex toys and use them more often. The Wow Tech Group reported a 200-per-cent increase in online sales between April 2019 and April 2020 while Lelo saw a 60-per-cent rise in internet sales in March 2020. Sex toy and lingerie retailer Ann Summers has seen a 27 per cent increase in sales of sex toys.
Prof Jacqui Gabb said:
”Sex is many things to many people. For couples it can be about desire and pleasure, fun and excitement, and sometimes obligation and duty. When it works it’s great; sex can strengthen the couple’s relationship and facilitate a unique sense of emotional closeness.
“Knowing the truths about sex is important to avoid making unfair comparisons – that’s why evidence from the likes of the Natsal research is so important.”
The Open University has produced an interactive way to access the data in the Natsal survey, on its OpenLearn platform.
The OpenLearn resources provide evidence-based facts on sex in Britain using data from the last decennial Natsal study www.openlearn-natsal.co.uk in a Wellcome Trust funded project and in collaboration with Natsal colleagues at UCL. These OpenLearn resources allow visitors to explore the facts about sex and sexual attitudes in Britain. Rather than relying on hearsay, the interactive encourages users to see how their sex lives measure up and to gain a more realistic and rounded picture of sex in the cities and UK countryside.
The next Natsal will be the fourth decennial study and interviews with around 10,000 randomly selected people from all over Britain starting this summer, 2022.
[i] The Natsal-COVID study is the largest quasi-representative sexual behaviour surveys under COVID-19 in the UK, and one of the most comprehensive worldwide.
[ii] Catherine H. Mercer et al (2021) Impacts of COVID-19 on sexual behaviour in Britain: findings from a large, quasi-representative survey (Natsal-COVID). Sexually Transmitted Infections. 2021; 10.1136/sextrans-2021-055210
[iii]Kirstin R Mitchell et al (2022) Initial Impacts of COVID-19 on Sex Life and Relationship Quality in Steady Relationships in Britain: Findings from a Large, Quasi-Representative Survey (Natsal-COVID), Lancet https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3862586[iv] https://www.relate.org.uk/sites/default/files/publications/uploads/relate_eharmony_twwan21_report_final.pdf
[v] Arafat SMY, Kar SK. Sex During Pandemic: Panic Buying of Sex Toys During COVID-19 Lockdown. Journal of Psychosexual Health. 2021;3(2):175-177. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/352192866_Sex_During_Pandemic_Panic_Buying_of_Sex_Toys_During_COVID-19_Lockdown
